Sara had been watching her mother’s mental, emotional, and physical health gradually worsen for several months before she made the decision that she needed to start an elderly care arrangement for her. She was concerned that Martha was facing issues that were making it difficult or even impossible for her to live independently and thought that she would benefit from an elderly health care services provider.
When she presented the idea to Martha, Sara was startled at the intensity of her mother’s reaction. Martha insisted that Sara was just trying to take away her independence. When Sara told her that her decision was because she was concerned about her safety and health and thought that it would improve her quality of life to have care, Martha said that she felt that Sara did not want to be involved in her life and would rather pawn her care off on a stranger.
Sara started to feel guilty and upset over her decisions and backed off on them, instead rearranging her schedule so that she could be in the home with her mother more often. Soon she found herself skipping important events, using up all of her personal days at work, and still feeling like she was not doing enough to keep up with her parents’ needs.
Hoping to find some encouragement and guidance, Sara joined a caregiver support group so that she could talk through her situation with other people who were going through some of the same things that she was. With their help she realized that her guilt was keeping her from ensuring that her mother was getting the level of care that she needed and deserved. She worked through her guilt, confronted Martha about it, and together they chose an elderly health care services provider to help her with her daily needs.
Feelings of guilt and self-doubt are common for adult children finding themselves at the beginning of elderly care journeys. It is easy to wonder if what you are doing is the right thing for your seniors and to feel like you are diminishing their quality of life if you make major changes. Overcoming this guilt, however, is key to making the decisions that are right for your aging parents to ensure that they get the care that they need to stay happy, healthy, and safe throughout their aging years.
Use these tips to help you overcome your guilt and not let it negatively impact your care decisions for your seniors:
• Prepare. Anticipate what your seniors may say about your decisions and reaffirm to yourself that the decisions you have made are right for your loved ones. Even if you have to stage a conversation with yourself where you go through the arguments and reply to them, preparing yourself can help to remind you of why you made these decisions when you start to feel guilty.
• Get support. Join a caregiver support group and talk with others who have gone through similar issues so that you can gain perspective. Seeing how others have gotten through their situations can help you to realize the benefits of your decisions.
• Ask for help. Seniors often resist the care decisions that their adult children have made for them because they feel that they are trying to take over their lives. Make it a point to discuss your decisions with your parents and get input from them so that they feel more in control.
If you or an aging loved one are considering elderly care services in Rio Verde, AZ, contact the caring staff at Assisting Hands Home Care at (480) 725-7002.
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