You have been thinking about home care support for your elderly mother. You know this would be the best option for her, and while you have been researching it, you have learned many other benefits you never even thought were available to her. You’re ready to jump the gun and hire a home care aide.
You need to make sure your mother is on board with this idea. You may be right in your assessment that she is having difficulty and would have great benefit by relying on an experienced caregiver, but this has to be her decision.
She is an independent individual.
She has every right to decide the course of her care. You might be correct that her safety is compromised, that she needs help to do certain things, and that home care would be the best option for her at this point in her life, but she needs to be the one to make that ultimate decision. If you force this upon her, she may come to resent it, resent you, and that can cause a lot of challenges in your relationship with her.
She has the right to decide her future.
This is her future you’re talking about. You may assume it’s about you because you’re the one who is taking care of her, for the most part, but that’s a choice you made. You don’t have to be the one taking care of her.
“But what happens if she’s injured or can’t do something on her own?” You might be thinking. That’s a reasonable question to make, but if she is refusing outside assistance, it doesn’t fall to you automatically to become her caregiver.
Provide her more information about home care support services, the benefits they offer, and the activities she may be able to do once again, if she only had the right type of help throughout the day.
You may not know what’s best.
Even though you are worried about her safety, are you certain you know what’s best for her? You might not know the best thing for her. Yes, it’s important to keep her safe, what about quality of life? How can you help her maximize her quality of life?
Respect her decision.
Ultimately, it comes down to respect. Your mother deserves respect and when you give it to her, when you explain the benefits of home care support services and the various options available to her, she will make the right decision for herself. You may need to limit the time you support her to help her realize this is not practical for you to be her primary caregiver.
If you or an aging loved-one are considering in-homecare in Chestnut Hill, PA, please contact the caring staff at Assisting Hands of Central Philadelphia. 215-274-0900.
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