As an adult child, you and your parent have had many conversations over the years that have probably ended with the words, “I love you.” However, when mom or dad is at the ending stages of life, you may feel like you just have not said those three words enough or placed enough meaning and emotion into them. Not only are you questioning yourself, but you fear your parent will die before you resolve the manner in which you will say your last goodbye.

Sometimes, an in home care provider can be your liaison between you and your mother or father in these cases. Unlike the doctors and nurses, this particular person is your parent’s connection to daily life. An in home care provider is a professional at his or her job who provides support through compassion and understanding, not just for the elderly but to their family members as well. They may be able to provide insight about the nagging questions you have about addressing your loved one’s situation.

An expert in home care provider can provide an experienced perspective. Often, care aides advise that not discussing the obvious only creates more pain. Your parent recognizes that they are dying. Spend this time in minutes, days, weeks, or more living life together while you can.  It’s ok to laugh and cry together and ask the hard questions. Learn more about mom or dad’s final wishes, and respect and resolve the final goodbye.

For the spiritual link with your parent, your loved one’s in home care provider may suggest that you and your loved one choose a location, a song, or an item that will bring them a spiritual connection. Your dying parent can visual that you will visit that spot, hold that object, listen to that song, or think of an individual subject to bring them back to you.

How to say goodbye is deeply personal and different for everyone. Sometimes it’s not simply goodbye, it’s “until we meet again.”