When you ask another family member for help, do you get a noncommittal answer or a comment about how that person doesn’t understand why you can’t just do it yourself? If so, you’re not alone. Lots of family caregivers deal with this same kind of response and it’s difficult not to become disheartened.
You’re Doing Such a Great Job
This answer seems sarcastic, but it’s really not. The truth is, you’re working really, really hard as your loved one’s family caregiver. You give up sleep, meals, and taking care of yourself to make sure that your loved one’s needs are met. No one can see that from the outside, though, so they don’t know how much you’re running yourself ragged. From the outside, it all looks like everything is fine, so why should they be concerned?
Caregiving Became an Issue Slowly
Caregiving can sometimes be a situation that the family gets thrown into suddenly, with an accident or a sudden illness. Much more often, however, caregiving became an issue much more slowly. You started handling one or two situations here and there for your elderly loved one and suddenly it grew until you were handling everything. Not everyone can see that side of the situation.
They Live Too Far Away
When your other family members live far away, they don’t see what you have to do to keep everything going for your elderly loved one. Then, when they do visit, everything seems well. Again, this is because you have the situation well in hand and it’s a temporary visit. By the time everyone goes home again, they’re wondering what all the fuss is about. But everything with your loved one goes back to normal and you’re still in over your head.
They’re in Denial
Sometimes your other family members don’t want to see what’s really going on with your elderly loved one and her health. The issue could be confronting their own mortality or it could be that they’re just not ready to see these kinds of things happening to your loved one. Either way, the denial is strong.
If your family members aren’t helping you much, that doesn’t mean you don’t need that help. Hire elder care providers to give you the time away and the extra help that you need.
If you or an aging loved one are considering elder care in Herndon, VA, please contact the caring staff at Assisting Hands today. (703) 982-0050.
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